Nurse Bingo

I found this online and thought it would be fun to try out. It goes along with the "Fish Philosophy" (always make work enjoyable). Every nurse I know could use a little less stress and a little more fun at work. Give it a try and let me know how it goes in the comment section below.

What NOT to do!

Guidelines to bad parenting continued:

• Give them sex toys to play with
• Allow them to be around dangerous animals

Bad Parenting (Continued)

Guidelines to being a bad parent:

• Teach child how to use a bong, smoke cigarettes, and drink beer
• Strip, dance, and take naked pictures in front of them
• Teach them how to strip as well...

                         TO BE CONTINUED!!!

Bad Parenting

This week I'm dedicating this blog to parents. I'm not talking about the boring parents who take car of their children. I'm talking about the ones that make my life as a pediatric nurse a living hell at times.

Really?

I'm not sure they are addressing the correct problem....

Too Stupid to Live!

A Nurses Theme Song

This song is so hilarious, but a bit hard to understand all the word so I'm posting the lyric below! ENJOY :)

Lyrics:

• Spoken: You got a scratch and you need help stat! Mmm boy, we got a bandaid that’ll fix it like that! You’ve been complaining of that aching in your tummy, well we’ve got some tums that even taste yummy.
  

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• If you’ve got a sprain, hey look I’ve got some ice and if you need some c-p-r, my lips, they taste so nice,
  And if you’ve got a cold despite everything you’ve tried, well give you a shot, right in your back side.
  If you’re feeling down, cause your achin’ in your neck, we’ll stick you with an IV once or twice, what the heck!
  We are caring, here have a laxative. We are sharing, bed pans are superlative!
  
• We’ve got lots of drugs we’re happy to provide, their effects will take you on a magic carpet ride. A whole new world!
  Just one little poke and you’ll float far far away, here comes a little pinch, oh wups! I missed the vein, oh well!
  We are caring, if you start to choke, we are sharing, we’ll shove a tube down your throat…
  
• So next time that you’re sick and you don’t know what’s wrong, we can probe your membranes with a cold, sharp, metal prong
  And you’ll know that we really truly care, so come and be our patient if you dare.
  So come and be our patient if you dare!

Alternative to Caffeine

Just watch this german commercial and find out how they stay awake ;)

Never Anger Your Nurse

A bigshot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital.

He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She walked into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."

After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.

"No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."

This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.

After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"

She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor comes into the room.

"What's going on here?" asked the doctor.

Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken before?"

After a pause, the doctor replies, "Yes, but never with a daffodil!"

Story Time

While working in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU), I had a patient ask me what infamous means. Attempting to explain in word this 4 year old boy could comprehend I asked him if he knew what famous meant. He said yes, so I explained that infamous was like being famous, but for bad thing and in a bad way. He promptly stated very mater of fact like, "Oh, Like Justin Beiber." Children are so funny. They really do see everything in a different light :)

Child abuse via Slip N Slide

Children abuse themselves enough... there is absolutely NO need for an adult to abuse them as well. Just a friendly reminder :)

"Magic Wand"

It never ceases to amaze me how many parents believe that the doctors and nurses have a "magic fix-all wand."  We all wish it was that simple, but it is called practicing medicine for a reason...

Some days....

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I think we all can relate to this...

Use Condoms: A must see video

http://youtu.be/6NvJs3KNdkw

You know you are a pediatric nurse when:

You know you are a pediatric nurse when:

1. Stains on your scrubs in hues of white, off white, yellow, seedy yellow, and of course, various shades of brown brightly adorn your scrubs. And subsequently, you have mastered the creation of the perfect stain remover substance that works best on partially digested formula-based stains.
2. Your locker is also stocked with a spare pink, teal, and Disney Princess scrub top in case of a stain emergency.
3. Your friends who are new parents turn to you for advice on diaper changing skills since you get more practice changing diapers on a daily basis than most parents do with their own kids.
4. You don’t memorize medicine dosages by mg or mcg but instead by weight-based dosing such as mg/kg or mcg/kg.
5. It’s a normal occurrence to see the fairy godmother frolicking through the halls of the hospital.
6. You think an eight pound baby is one of the biggest, healthiest looking babies you have ever seen!
7. You impress your fellow adult health nurses because you can do weight-based dosing calculations in your head without the use of a calculator.
8. People look at you funny when you check the pulse integrity and capillary refill on each new child that you meet, just by habit.
9. You have mastered the art of making saline syringes into water guns, blue gloves into inflatable chickens, and tourniquets into the best sling-shots ever seen.
10. You look forward to seeing clowns at work.
11. Wagons are a hotter commodity to come across than a wheelchair at your hospital.
12. You have memorized the channel numbers for Cartoon Network, Disney Channel and PBS kids.

                          

             FEEL FREE TO ADD YOUR OWN!!!

Laughter is good for your Health

• Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
• Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.
• Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.
• Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems

Sweet Dreams :)

Hoping our unit can get these masks so the children will be even more frightened of us....

Welcome!!!

Is laughter the best medicine? Maybe not, but it is a powerful treatment for stress, pain, and conflict. A good laugh can lighten any ones mood and get them through a particularly tough day. This is why I have decided to bring laughter into the lives of all those who read my blog. Since I am a pediatric nurse and mother of two, some people may think this blog will be G-rated... however, those individuals will be sorely mistaken. I'm the type of person who doesn't mind "crossing lines" for the sake or comedy. I will be sharing stories from my own experiences as well as jokes, cartoons, or funny videos I find online. So... sit back, relax, and get ready to enjoy a dose of laughter with me each evening :P