 |
| How day shift consumes lunch |
 |
| How night shift consumes lunch |
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Tx = Parentectomy
When the parents of my patient start doing this...
Which Type of Nurse are you?
Nurses have been a trope in fiction for centuries. From Dickens’ drunken, sleeping slattern to the modern sexy beasts of E.R. and Grey’s Anatomy, nurses have had nursing styles galore. Take this quick quiz to find out which fictional nurse you most resemble!
1. A doctor enters the nurses’ station and asks for help entering an order into the computer system. You:
a. Drag him into the nearest clean utility room and rip off your shirt, revealing a provocative lace brassiere (double points if you’re a male nurse)
b. Light a hundredweight of gunpowder in such a way that a score of wolves is revealed to be blazing around you
c. Try to help him, but become entangled in some wacky computer problem such that you blush and stammer, charming the physician with your innocence and good nature
d. Show him where to click with the mouse and how to enter the order
b. Light a hundredweight of gunpowder in such a way that a score of wolves is revealed to be blazing around you
c. Try to help him, but become entangled in some wacky computer problem such that you blush and stammer, charming the physician with your innocence and good nature
d. Show him where to click with the mouse and how to enter the order
2. You’re dealing with a difficult patient. How do you try to establish a rapport with him?
a. You reveal that he’s actually your long-lost brother’s second wife’s stepson. Hilarity ensues.
b. You tell him a sweet story to lull him to sleep, then laugh in a horrid manner, disquieting him extremely.
c. You persevere with good humor and efficient, quiet action, accomplishing tasks with such gentleness and intelligence that he can’t help but become fond of you.
d. You read him the riot act and have no trouble the rest of the shift.
b. You tell him a sweet story to lull him to sleep, then laugh in a horrid manner, disquieting him extremely.
c. You persevere with good humor and efficient, quiet action, accomplishing tasks with such gentleness and intelligence that he can’t help but become fond of you.
d. You read him the riot act and have no trouble the rest of the shift.
3. Something horrible has happened on your shift. What do you do?
a. Immediately stick your hand into a ceiling fan, your head into a helicopter propeller or your entire body into the icy waters of the nearest ship channel in order to provide a good subplot.
b. Drink some gin and go to sleep by the fire. Whatever’s going on, it’ll be resolved by the time you wake up sometime in the next chapter.
c. Widen your eyes in shock, flail about a bit, then come up with a nifty idea that saves the day.
d. Sigh heavily, roll your eyes and call housekeeping to help you mop up the entrails.
b. Drink some gin and go to sleep by the fire. Whatever’s going on, it’ll be resolved by the time you wake up sometime in the next chapter.
c. Widen your eyes in shock, flail about a bit, then come up with a nifty idea that saves the day.
d. Sigh heavily, roll your eyes and call housekeeping to help you mop up the entrails.
4. You fall in love with somebody at work. Who is it?
a. Your immediate supervisor, who, unbeknownst to you, is also your sister’s younger daughter’s half-cousin.
b. A poor yet noble scion of a great but fallen family.
c. A handsome intern with only your best interests at heart.
d. That cute guy who delivers the specialty mattresses on Thursdays.
b. A poor yet noble scion of a great but fallen family.
c. A handsome intern with only your best interests at heart.
d. That cute guy who delivers the specialty mattresses on Thursdays.
5. Why did you go into nursing?
a. It’s a glamorous, well-paid job with great-fitting uniforms and plenty of time to gossip.
b. It’s a living. One that lets me afford gin.
c. Because I want to help people! Especially those boys at the front who are giving their all!
d. I couldn’t make a living with a degree in English.
b. It’s a living. One that lets me afford gin.
c. Because I want to help people! Especially those boys at the front who are giving their all!
d. I couldn’t make a living with a degree in English.
Next: Your Results →
Your Results
Mostly As: Congratulations! You’re a Grey’s Anatomy Nurse!! You have the best setup of any nurse out there. The trouble is you’re mostly invisible and generally used only as a sexual object or an early victim of some horrific accident or plague.
Mostly Bs: Congratulations! You’re a Classic Literary Nurse in the style of Mrs. Gamp in Dickens’Martin Chuzzlewit! You’re long remembered by readers of the best that English literature has to offer. The downside is that you’re mostly drunk and generally really frightening.
Mostly Cs: Congratulations! You’re Cherry Ames! We all want to strangle you. You do get the cutest uniforms, though. Those starched collars! Those capes!
Mostly Ds: Congratulations! You’re a nonfictional Real Nurse! Now get off the computer; 822 needs a bedpan.
From Scrubs Magazine
• SEPTEMBER 26, 2012
sedation
Saturday, September 29, 2012
1 more thing!
Good Luck!
Friday, September 28, 2012
Professional
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
Buckle up!
THAT patient
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Dead or Alive
A nurse in an inpatient setting was caring for a patient (we will call him Mr. Smith) who was dying. The family was with the patient when his breathing began to slow down, eventually stopping. A family member walked over to the nurses station and informed the nurse that the patient had passed away. Protocol is to inform the covering physician of the death so that he can officially state the time of death and assess the patient. In this case, the doctor was informed of the death via a phone call.
Nurse:"Hello Doctor. Mr. Smith in room 604 has just passed away."
Doctor:"Ok."
Nurse: "Doctor, you need to come and pronounce him."
Doctor:"What?"
Nurse:"You know, pronounce the patient's death and time of death."
Doctor: "What do I pronounce him as?"
Nurse:"You pronounce him dead. Can you just come and see the patient please?"
Doctor:" Why, if he is already dead?"
Nurse:"Get over here and see the patient."
Click. Hung up the phone.
About five minutes later, the doctor in question (or you could say the questionable doctor), arrived onto the floor as politely requested. He asks where the patient is, walks into the room, and says:
"I now pronounce you dead."
In front of the family.
Doctor:"Ok."
Nurse: "Doctor, you need to come and pronounce him."
Doctor:"What?"
Nurse:"You know, pronounce the patient's death and time of death."
Doctor: "What do I pronounce him as?"
Nurse:"You pronounce him dead. Can you just come and see the patient please?"
Doctor:" Why, if he is already dead?"
Nurse:"Get over here and see the patient."
Click. Hung up the phone.
About five minutes later, the doctor in question (or you could say the questionable doctor), arrived onto the floor as politely requested. He asks where the patient is, walks into the room, and says:
"I now pronounce you dead."
In front of the family.
Silly me
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Giving meds to kids
Looking for this
Inevitably... this is the end result :(
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Lost my Appetite
This mother allegedly undressed her two small children and let each child sit on the potty while eating at Thanksgiving Point Deli, according to Utah news station KSLTV. The station interviewed Kimberly Decker, a disgusted witness who snapped a pic of the scene.
"She had to undo the jumpsuits and take them all the way down so they were completely nude, with the jumpsuits down to their ankles, just eating their chicken nuggets, sitting on little toddler potties," Decker told the new station.
This has got to be against the health code...
Residents...
They are gathered around the Surgery table with a real dead dog lying on it.
The Professor started class by telling two important qualities as a Doctor.The First is that to never be disgusted about any part of the body,
As he inserted his finger in dog's ass tasted it in his own mouth. Then he said them to do the
same.
The students hesitated for several minutes but eventually everyone inserted their fingers in dog's ass & then tasted it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said:
The second most important quality is Observation, I inserted my Middle finger but tasted the Index finger.
Now... learn to pay attention.
The students hesitated for several minutes but eventually everyone inserted their fingers in dog's ass & then tasted it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said:
The second most important quality is Observation, I inserted my Middle finger but tasted the Index finger.
Now... learn to pay attention.
Code BLUE!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)